


Times come to pass

by Yamiga



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Tumblr request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 15:47:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4025656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamiga/pseuds/Yamiga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was tradition for Hide and Kaneki to go the fireworks festival together, but that year, things were different. By chance, Hide catches Kaneki at the fireworks festival, with his new friends and family as happy as ever. He knows he should be happy for Kaneki, now that's he's finally found his place, but Hide can't help but feel he's been left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Times come to pass

Nothing really lasted forever, Hide figured.

 

Things were bound to change, no matter how solid or certain they seemed in the beginning. That was just how things worked, a part of “unchangeable” nature. It was a paradox in itself, but Hide wasn't complaining, at least not any more. He'd spent his days complaining, feeling sorry for himself, and feeling like the idiot left behind.

 

_Left behind..._ The phrase didn't seem to fit him, nor did the meaning, but as of present, there was nothing he could do about it. He thought, that after years of friendship, sacrifice, blood and tears, he'd have some value in _his_ eyes. He thought that the meaning or the phrase “left behind”, would never have been applied to him, especially not in _their_ relationship.

 

But as Hide stood there, with his hands in his pockets, on that New Years Eve, watching the fireworks shoot above over head, he couldn't help but feel not only left behind, but forgotten. As a few feet in front of him, stationary about the crowd of people, Hide's eyes rested upon a very different Kaneki. This time, he wasn't alone amongst the sea of spectators, in fact, he had a group surrounding him.

 

Smiles, chatters and whispers drifted between their parted laughter as each attempted to get a glimpse of the screaming fireworks. Hide saw a little girl around Kaneki's arm, hugging him like a life source. On the other side of him, a taller, slender man held him close. An arm twisted around his waist, pulling him into a calm embrace.

 

If Hide didn't know any better, the way Kaneki melted into the purple haired man's side, it was obvious that there was something going on between the two.

 

_Ghouls, they have to be. Just like Kaneki._ Hide thought, not so much out of anger, or judgment. It was just an observation, an observation that made sense. After all, why wouldn't they be ghouls. Kaneki was one, and it only seemed plausible that he fancied other ghouls.

 

He seemed so happy around them, as if he was a lost child embracing the family whom he had searched years for. Even Touka, who normally seemed angry smiled in Kaneki's presence. They were all over joyed together, peering towards the sky in unison, waiting for the fireworks to explode into the night.

 

Hide would be lying if he said he wasn't feeling left out. Hide would be lying if he said he was completely happy for Kaneki.

 

Selflessness could only go so far until it turned into envy. And that's what Hide felt now...envy, jealousy, anger...He had tried to hide these emotions for so long but after months of searching for Kaneki, and finally finding him, it was painful to see how he so easily found love and happiness with people that had only recently come into his life. It was painful to see how happy he was, without the one who really cared for him by his side. To see him gazing up at the fireworks, hand in hand with his “family” without a care in the world.

 

_Does he think about me, as much as I think about him?_ Hide's conscience began to prickle in the back of his mind, whispering into his ears. _Does he even care about me now?_ Hide stared with his smile faltering by the second. He knew it was wrong to feel this way, after all, Kaneki was happy so he needed to be happy as well.

 

Wasn't that what a good friend wanted?

 

It didn’t matter if Kaneki wasn't with him, just as long as Kaneki was happy. It should not have mattered, at least.

 

Hide wanted to live by that. He wanted to hold nothing but positive emotions for Kaneki and his current situation but he simply couldn't. He couldn't fathom the fact that he'd given up everything for Kaneki, only for Kaneki to forget about him and all he meant.

 

He supposed he couldn't get angry at himself for feeling this way. He was a human, subjected to human emotions. And after everything he'd been through, trying to ensure Kaneki's safety, he seemed to have forgotten his humanity.

 

Now it was coming back to hit him, and that meant more than one thing.

 

Yes, he was hurting, succumbing to these emotions that he thought he'd expelled long ago. Yet at the same time, he realized that by definition he was human, Kaneki was not. Kaneki had obviously picked his world, leaving his humanity behind. With it, he'd left Hide. Hide could've made it work, he wanted to make it work, but Kaneki simply would never adhere to that. And Hide didn't blame him. He looked so happy, surrounded by those he loved and cherished. Hide figured he should've been happy for Kaneki, even if Kaneki had left him behind.

 

In the midst of his thoughts, Hide was caught off guard by loud cracking above in the sky. Almost instantly, the area around was filled with bright colorful lights, accompanied by sounds of delight coming from the spectators. Hide's gaze still remained on Kaneki, seeing the way he turned around in his kimono staring in awe at the lights above.

 

Through the crowd of people, Hide felt as if his connection to Kaneki grew slimmer and slimmer. His view began to fill with spectators filling in the visible gaps. Kaneki was still gazing, with a smile on his face holding on to those he loved.

 

Hide's heart began to pound faster and faster, as Kaneki grew harder and harder to see. _This will be the last time you see him!_ The desperate voice started again, screaming at the back of his mind. Hide couldn't ignore it, he'd ignored it for far too long. This truly was his last chance...the last time he'd see Kaneki.

 

“Hey,” He yelled, getting the attention of many but he didn't care. “what's up Kaneki!?” The clearing widened just enough for Kaneki's grey eyes to meet his brown ones. Hide's blood was pumping, his throat was dry as he stood there in nothing but sheer anxiety, gazing at the one he loved for one last time. There were many things he wanted to say in those few seconds, many things that needed to be said but they simply didn't have the time.

 

He caught the guilt in Kaneki's eyes and figured that if he had time, he would've said something. But the crowd was closing in, and their space was getting smaller and smaller.

 

_Good luck Ken..._ Hide softly spoke through his eyes. _I'm happy for you._

 

And before he knew it, Kaneki was gone, lost in a sea of people. Hide stood watch, like he should've months ago. This time, he had to tell himself that no matter how much it hurt...he'd never go after Kaneki again.

 

Kaneki didn't need him, Kaneki was happy without him. It was simply time for Hide to pick up the pieces and start his own life.


End file.
